You Can Lead A Horse To Water

Have you ever been asked for advice or assistance and then become frustrated when the person seemed either resistant to what you were offering or wanted to debate your every word? As the old adage goes, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink".  This saying has been around for a very long time, and yet, it still rings true. Often-times, people really do want a solution to their problem, and they turn to you because they do trust your wisdom and experience. The wall goes up, however, when they realize they cannot overcome the barriers to changing their behaviors and mindset, and they cannot break the cycle of gravitating back to the familiar rather than stepping into the unknown.

In a situation like this, it is important to refrain from taking offense or perceiving their reluctance as a personal attack. After all, they did ask for your help and no one else's. So, stay in a neutral space where you allow them to digest what you have suggested or advised, releasing the need to persuade and meddle in their journey moving forward. Know that if this person truly wants to make a change, they will choose to do it. And in this process, your advice will gently guide them along.

I'm sure you've been in situations where you've asked someone for guidance, and when they attempted to assist, you became defensive and put up a wall. Why? Because you wanted the solution to be instantaneous & effortless, as if the words themselves would magically do the work for you. This is what your resistant friend, family member or client is hoping for too, if they shut you down as you are attempting to help. But true lasting change never comes easy, even if it is worth the work.

Everyone is where they are on their journey. Whether a person is asking for advice from a friend or visiting an actual therapist, that person has to be ready to do the work that will bring about the change. Otherwise, it is just wasted time. This does not mean you shouldn't try to help when someone asks. Just remember not to take their rejection of your efforts personally. Being in a human body at this time, in an unstable world, is extremely challenging. In retrospect, it is very true that life was easier to navigate in the 1950's & 60's.

Be a friend, be a sister or brother who is steadfast in your love for those you cherish. Sometimes people will learn by watching your behaviors, so let your own life be the example, too.

Lead, but don't expect others to follow if they just aren't ready to make the journey to the other side of the river. They will do it if, and when, they are ready.

Many Blessings~

Reverend Paula ♥