Choices, For Better or Worse
One of life's greatest challenges is accepting that others' choices are their own and that we should not attempt to override them. Consider this: would you want someone to forcefully override your choices? Others may make choices that we find frustrating, upsetting, or even offensive. However, it's crucial to step back and adopt a broader perspective. Remove yourself emotionally from the situation to avoid falling into a rabbit hole of control and judgement. Every adult has sovereignty over their life and decisions, no matter how misguided they may appear. 'Adulthood' is emphasized because, unlike an 8-year-old who lacks full awareness of potential harm, adults are fully responsible for their actions.
I'm referring here to adults and their choices. Each person is born sovereign, with the exception of their needs for food, shelter, and nurturing during childhood. Parents have a responsibility for guiding their children in making wise decisions, akin to teaching a baby bird how to best use its wings; but eventually, the bird flies off on its own journey.
When a partner, friend, or sibling makes choices that we dislike or that hurt us, we face a fork in the road. We can either resist their choices or release our grip and accept that this is their path to wisdom, as our choices are for us. If a partner/spouse is deceitful or unfaithful, it's crucial to recognize that it was their decision, and that even a natural disaster couldn't lead them to cheat in a healthy relationship. Therefore, don't blame the person they cheated with; place the blame appropriately. Certainly forgiveness takes time, but it is much easier if we understand & accept that we did not cause the events that unfolded.
When a friend or family member makes choices that seem to us to be unhealthy, unwise, or selfish, it's essential, for one's own well-being, to take a huge step back. While it's frustrating not being able to sway their decisions, remember that their choices serve their growth and wisdom. People may cause harm to others, whether intentionally or not. We often feel entitled to something from the world or others, but in reality, they owe us nothing beyond financial or legal obligations, contractually. It's each person's prerogative to give or withhold love, loyalty, etc.
If someone lies, it's not because you caused or deserved it. It's merely their method of navigating their life's path, for better or worse. Don't take it personally.
If someone rejects, deceives, or inflicts emotional harm on you, it only affects you if you let it. The arrow may be aimed at you, but you have the choice to dodge it or let it strike. This decision is pivotal— refuse to let others hijack your power due to their unhealthy choices.
Looking back on life, you'll realize that making healthy choices of your own was what truly counted—being kind, compassionate, caring, generous, and loving. These qualities are what people on this planet need far more than judgment and blame.
As you face your own personal decisions today, pause to consider: Will this choice harm or help me or others?
THIS is what it truly means to be AWAKE.
As always, much love,
Reverend Paula ♥