Letting Go, Letting God (Direct Your Life)
I'm not a 'religious' person. Organized religion feels restrictive and fear-based to me. When I use the term God, I mean the Divine being who is the absolute creator of ALL, and connects directly with the deep place inside each of us that is whole, enough. This is known as the Soul, the perfect, eternal part of us. The inner GPS.
Every one of us has struggled with self-worth, with trying to be good enough. I believe this struggle is a result of the disconnect we experience at conception, after entering into the sacred agreement that we will come back down to Earth alone, with a clean slate; an amnesiac, in a sense. Our human parents do the best they can, mostly, with the tools they were given early in their lives. But we are solely dependent on these adults, and they often miss the mark, or just plan fail us. This can sometimes result in a confusing sense of abandonment to a sensitive child who is so small and inexperienced. How often do you hear a parent say to a child, 'I am not perfect, you are not perfect, but I love you. You have always been and will always be ENOUGH.'? All too rarely.
Honestly, I feel that souls in human bodies NEED God. Why? Like homing pigeons, we need a home base, because we are aware that the Universe is, as far as we've been able to detect, infinite. This fact should make a person think. A universe cannot give birth to itself, and man did not create him/herself. We are simply too well crafted, things work a little bit too well to just be happenstance, in my opinion. There is a Divine design. You can deny it if you like, sitting in your ego assuming that something as imperfect as yourself created something so miraculous as the body that is the sacred vessel housing your soul. But, proving that God exists is not my point here.
My intention, rather, is to discuss the idea that we never really own anything, or anyone, and that nothing is truly ours to keep forever, and additionally, that forcing anything never works for long. I spiritually counsel hundreds of people per week, and one common question I am asked daily, if not hourly, is, 'How can I make him/her love me?'. Essentially, how can they make something that the Divine has not intended to be 'for them', be for them? I have to approach this question with each person who asks from a unique vantage point, depending on where they are in their evolutionary process. But the honest answer is, YOU CANNOT.
Free will is an interesting thing. Everyone takes advantage of it, and sometimes, just maybe, two peoples' free wills will align perfectly, and they will fall in love with each other. But at some point, their free wills will wander to other interests, and there they each are, feeling alone again, and yes, like they are not enough, somehow, to be able to 'keep' that other person loving them. And again, I believe that this has much to do with that inner need to know that we are unconditionally loved and safe, which a Divine creator can provide, but a fellow human being cannot. When one wakes up to this fact, it can feel both deflating and invigorating, if one lets it travel down deep into their soul. Loneliness is not just a product of spending too much time alone. It can happen in committed relationships and marriages, so I believe it stems from a deeper need, one that has always been, and always will be, as long as souls continue to journey to Earth, separating for a time from true home, and 'forgetting' that true home while here in physical form.
I remember someone saying to me so long ago that you must love yourself before someone else will love you. I thought that idea was insane, what was to love about myself? I was quite average to myself, nothing special, nothing extraordinary. But, if a boy loved me, it meant that I was no longer insignificant and invisible. Oh, how backward that thought truly was!
As adults, we come to the realization that our DNA guarantees that no two of us are alike. Even twins have different DNA. What a miraculous design! And the information that our DNA contains is astonishing. Yes, a human discovered that we have DNA, but a human did NOT design it! Have you ever gazed upon a garden? No two flowers are the same, not shaped the same, not even the exact same color....yet, they are all roses, or tulips, or pansies. Each one is more stunning than the next, beautiful in its uniqueness, and when connected to its roots, stays vibrant, colorful, animated, alive. When we are connected to our Divine creator, we continue to thrive, grow, shine. When we are separated from our Divine creator, we begin to wilt. We are given, in this life, clues and glimpses into our true purpose, a peek behind the veil. These clues are hidden in plain sight....let us ponder the ocean for a moment. If each of us is a wave in the ocean, then we are both the ocean and the wave. We are in it, it is in us. Once a person begins to see that they are the lover, the beloved and the love, with no true separation, especially from God, then all needs are fulfilled, and one is always enough. Because a person is already full, the need to possess another human being, the need to be loved before feeling loveable, is unnecessary.
Let us try to embrace this idea, that you already have within you all that you may be seeking from another. What if you really do? You can lean back and simply BE with others, with that special person, and need nothing, but offer unlimited unconditional love to this unique creation of God, perfectly imperfect and no better or worse than yourself. They just ARE. You just ARE. Together you are waves in the eternal ocean of the universe. You are the same, yet separate bits chipped off the old block, so to speak. How can you love them more than you love yourself? If you love yourself, you love them, and there is plenty of love to go around. I know this might be confusing, but what I must convince you of before I close this blog is this.... We can never be separate from that which depends on us for its completion, and which we depend on for our completion. I once heard someone say, "We run around looking for God, which we have been swimming in all along". Kind of like searching for the glasses that are sitting atop our heads!
So relax, know that you are love, you are loved, and that you are the very expression of God's love in the world. Love the world, love your life, love the love that loves you. Then....just watch the way others respond to you. You'll be so desired you'll have to fight lovers off with a stick LOL!
Spring is here, enjoy the renewed energy and the season of fertility as it blossoms into fruition!
Reverend Paula K